Healthy Boundaries

/Healthy Boundaries

Our Addiction to being a Victim <<< the Karpman Drama Triangle

I recently read a blog by one of my favorite teachers, Melody Beattie.* We also use her work in my school, The S.W.A.T. Institute. Melody had asked a fellow therapist "what the one thing was that hallmarked the unhappy state of being many of us have come to label as codependency." “It’s the Karpman Drama [...]

Letting Go Versus Checking Out

After coaching thousands of people over the past twenty years, I’ve witnessed many people “check out” on their most important relationships and then use the enlightened line: “I’m just setting a healthy boundary. I’m letting go.” Whenever a conversation or situation gets uncomfortable, they aren’t willing to dig in, listen, talk it out, look at [...]

4-Steps for Setting Healthy Boundaries!

If you’re like many women, setting healthy boundaries with the people in your life can be really challenging—especially as you head into the holidays. You want to be nice. You want to be liked. You want to be loving. But you don’t want to get walked on or taken advantage of. Boundary setting is one [...]

You have one primary reason to be alive: Bliss

How many times have you wondered: "What is my purpose? Why am I here?" Bliss. Yep! You have one primary reason to be alive and that is to experience bliss. That’s it! I loved when I heard Deepak Chopra declare on day one of his meditation series with Oprah: You are your deepest desires! Amen! [...]

Did Jesus ATTRACT His Punishment?? Seriously.

I truly thought I was done with this rant. But clearly, I’m not. I’m tired of people writing things such as, “You're attracting ‘haters’ because it is your trigger. It’s your wound. It’s where you’re vibrating. It’s your frequency.” Although there is truth in that we teach people how to treat us -- this theory [...]

What I Learned in 2013

As 2013 has come to a close, I reflect on what I've learned this past year and I’m almost certain it’s been mostly about relationships -- particularly what healthy and unhealthy relationships look, feel, and sound like. I’ve learned that it must be a win-win for a good relationship to sustain itself naturally and effortlessly; [...]

Ever Tried to Have an Empowered Conversation With a Victim?

You finally summon up the courage to speak your truth. You set your intention before you speak, i.e. “I want to explain how I feel so you’ll understand me better.” Your energy is open-minded and willing. You speak from your heart (your soul) not your head (your ego). You carefully select your words as to [...]

Most Fat People Will Agree With Me On This!

So here goes… A BIG HONEST SHARE: I get that I’m an attractive woman. I get that I don’t have a lot of weight to lose (maybe 15 - 20 pounds). (And let us not forget my huge weight gain in my twenties . . . which I subsequently lost after much self-healing.) I get [...]

Peaceful vs. Passive: There’s a Big Difference!

For most of my life, I believed my soul only wanted peace. And while this is true (our soul does want peace), what I didn’t understand was the difference between peaceful and passive communication. Most times when I would find myself in a situation with an aggressor, instead of rising to neutral ground, quickly assessing [...]

Am I a Bully or Simply…Empowered?

As many of us are becoming mindful of our level of empowerment, self-love, and ability to set healthy boundaries, we still find ourselves in situations where we feel frustrated that our needs aren’t being met or that others are treating us in inappropriate ways. So what do we do? We know that if we don’t [...]

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