healthy boundaries

/Tag:healthy boundaries

Our Addiction to being a Victim <<< the Karpman Drama Triangle

I recently read a blog by one of my favorite teachers, Melody Beattie.* We also use her work in my school, The S.W.A.T. Institute. Melody had asked a fellow therapist "what the one thing was that hallmarked the unhappy state of being many of us have come to label as codependency." “It’s the Karpman Drama [...]

My Patience is Running Out

Patience is a virtue. It’s true. But what about when we can’t decipher if it’s, in fact, patience or instead, being taken advantage of? What if our patience is really codependence? Fear? Low self-esteem?? What if we just aren’t able to set healthy boundaries and we’re allowing poor treatment? What if our exhaustion, frustration, and [...]

What I Learned in 2013

As 2013 has come to a close, I reflect on what I've learned this past year and I’m almost certain it’s been mostly about relationships -- particularly what healthy and unhealthy relationships look, feel, and sound like. I’ve learned that it must be a win-win for a good relationship to sustain itself naturally and effortlessly; [...]

Ever Tried to Have an Empowered Conversation With a Victim?

You finally summon up the courage to speak your truth. You set your intention before you speak, i.e. “I want to explain how I feel so you’ll understand me better.” Your energy is open-minded and willing. You speak from your heart (your soul) not your head (your ego). You carefully select your words as to [...]

Most Fat People Will Agree With Me On This!

So here goes… A BIG HONEST SHARE: I get that I’m an attractive woman. I get that I don’t have a lot of weight to lose (maybe 15 - 20 pounds). (And let us not forget my huge weight gain in my twenties . . . which I subsequently lost after much self-healing.) I get [...]

Am I a Bully or Simply…Empowered?

As many of us are becoming mindful of our level of empowerment, self-love, and ability to set healthy boundaries, we still find ourselves in situations where we feel frustrated that our needs aren’t being met or that others are treating us in inappropriate ways. So what do we do? We know that if we don’t [...]

Am I Selfish???

Be honest:  How many times have you viewed the behavior of someone you care about as selfish—maybe even narcissistic? They may be sweet, cute, and fun to hang out with sometime but you’re certain they care more about their own agenda than anything else. You can feel it. The conversation inevitably always turns to them; [...]

Healthy Boundaries Create Healthy Relationships

After writing last week’s article on “rejection”, I received a few private messages from women asking if I would write more about “boundaries”. In that blog, I explained that boundary setting is hands-down the most important lesson we women need to learn: “Healthy boundaries are like having a front door with a lock on it. [...]

When Something “Wonderful” Suddenly Goes “Wrong”

We’ve all had that relationship that goes from “hero to zero” in no time flat—whether it be with a friend, family member, or lover—that leaves us wondering what the heck just happened. Truth be told, it’s hard not to take it personally. It’s too easy to feel badly about ourselves. “What did I say?” “Where [...]

Living in the Fast Lane

Unfortunately, many of us live in a world where we feel proud, even empowered, to share the chaos and confusion we live in: “You can’t believe my schedule! It is crazy busy!” I, too, like most of us can get caught up living in the fast lane. Going, doing, running, responding, reacting – often without [...]

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